I’ve moved…sort of. www.jameshooper.org

I’ve moved my site to a self hosted more of a clean look.  If you end up here, please visit www.jameshooper.org

6 Essentials of a Great Mentor #2 (Heart for People)

A few weeks ago we started chatting about mentoring and the vitality of it in student ministry and leadership.  If you want to read #1 Heart for Jesus, Click here.

Every good mentor needs a heart for people! I mean to honestly enjoy people.  And I don’t mean necessarily an extrovert, but a person who enjoy the interaction with people.  In addition, a desire to lead and guide people partnered with a desire to pray with and for people. Hanging out is one thing, but if you can ‘t lead, guide, or pray with them you’re not ready to be their mentor. 

• HOW TO PREPARE:
  Do a personal, people-focused inventory - be honest about your interest in people and hwy you are doing this discipleship program in the first place.
• Do you like people? Not just ‘love’ them in a ‘godly way’ (although I argue that God likes people, so don’t use that excuse) or ‘sacrificial way’. Do you truly like people? Are you interested in other people’s lives, stories, growth? Do you tend to resent long talks, or cherish them?
• People know if you like them or not, they can feel it, sense it and they will eventually resist you if you try to push.
• Is your personality compensated for, to where you can involve your heart in what you are doing?
• Engage in conversation with people you dont’ know well and listen to their heart (through this process). Ask questions and listen to the answers. It will build up your understanding and heart for them. The more distant you are, the more you will remain unmoved by people.
• Pray for a loving heart for God’s people.

The last blog written by David Wilkerson.

Before going to bed I checked my twitter feed.  I usually don’t.  But tonight with the storms in the States with lives being lost, homes being destroyed, I wanted a heads up on what was taking place.  It’s through Twitter where I read about David Wilkerson died in a car accident.
When he woke up this morning he had no idea today was his day.  You read a man’s last words with a different perspective.  I am reminded that I want to be used by God to the fullness of His glory to my last day.
Here is a copy of Wilkerson’s last blog written today, April 27, 2010.

To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most acceptable. Jesus said to Thomas, “You have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen” (John 20:29).

Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer—who trust beyond hope when all means have failed.

Someone has come to the place of hopelessness—the end of hope—the end of all means. A loved one is facing death and doctors give no hope. Death seems inevitable. Hope is gone. The miracle prayed for is not happening.

That is when Satan’s hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger, overwhelming questions: “Where is your God now? You prayed until you had no tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises. You trusted.”

Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind: “Prayer failed. Faith failed. Don’t quit on God—just do not trust him anymore. It doesn’t pay!”

Even questioning God’s existence will be injected into your mind. These have been the devices of Satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.

To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”

Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word. There is no other hope in this world.

To go to the source, Click Here.

Six Essentials of a Great Mentor (#1: Heart for Jesus)

In the next six posts I thought we could dissect what it takes to be a mentor. 

Heart for Jesus is a primary foundation to being a great mentor!  But what does a heart for Jesus really mean? 
Definition: 

• A true love (interest and obedience) and passion for Christ.
• Thriving currently in walk with Christ.

How to Prepare:

• Do a spiritual love and passion inventory – be honest about your current walk with God.
• Would you want to duplicate your current spiritual walk into your mentee?
• Do you have guides in place that will keep you spiritually vibrant?
• Have you been vibrant over the last year without this discipleship process?
• Do you truly love Jesus? Do you miss Him when you don ‘t have time with Him? Do you talk to Him about everyday things? Do you wish you could know Him more? Do you find yourself constantly wondering what He would think of any given situation? Do you talk about Him to others (not always evangelistically, but just in conversation)?
• Love as obedience - you will obey his commandments. Are you submitting to the Lords’s leading in your life? Are you still changing? Soft hearted? Do you treat Him as Lord, as well as Savior?
• Prepare a steady plan of prayer and bible imput for the life of the discipleship.
• Make sure you have one book at all times that will stimulate spiritual growth.
• Pray for a passion and love for Jesus.

Six kinds of toxic mentors:

We’ve all had them.  The mentors who become not the person we thought they would be come. Here is a list of toxic mentors:

1) THE AVOIDER: Initial enthusiasm but later inaccessible.  Not available when the need is the greatest.  Cannot get close emotionally.

2) THE DUMPER: Delighted to gie the mentee opportunities, assignments, extra work, more responsibility, but gives inadequate guidance; the mentee is abandoned.

3) THE CRITICIZER: Believes mentoring is a license to point out mistakes.  Gives the mentee too much responsibility too soon and then criticizes them for inexperience and poor performance. Unconsciously keeps them subordinate.

4) THE USER: The mentee is the mentor’s spy in the ranks. They are a convenient, pleasant companion, backboard or source of ideas. They are used for the mentors benefit.

5) THE BLACK HALO: The Mentor teaches the mentee all there is to know, but all the teaching is against the favor of others and therefore the mentee is marked out as well.

6) THE QUEEN BEE: Doesn’t belive the mentee should show a need for help. Always suggests the hard work, tough it out method. The mentee feels inferior.

Seven kinds of Healthy Mentors

Each provides a different kind of service. We need different kinds of mentors at different stages of life.

1)  DISCIPLER: Helps with the basics of following Christ.

2)  SPIRITUAL GUIDE: Provides accountability, direction/insight for maturation.

3) COACH: Provides motivation, skills needed to meet a specific task or challenge.

4) COUNSELOR: Gives timely advise, perspective on self, others and ministry during a specific stage of life or dilemma.

5. TEACHER: Provides knowledge or understanding on a specific teaching.

6). SPONSOR: Provides career guidance, protection, or a network with contacts.

7) MODEL: A living personal example of life, ministry or career.

Digital Kids Need face time (by Lars Rood)

If you follow my blog, go on over to Lars Rood’s Blog site.

In reading the blog from my friend over at Larsrood.com, he touched on a point I’ve been teaching my leaders for the last few weeks.   The tittle of his specific topic was Digital Kids Need Face Time.  Check it out, it’s worth a read!!  www.larsrood.com 

Is this for me? Essential qualities of an influential mentor in student ministry.

“Is this for me?”  This is a question I see on the faces of so many people.  I remember growing up, I would be thrown into a mentorship type relationship because a friend needed some advice, some more advice, and more advice, and before I knew it, I was in an “unofficial” mentorship relationship.  Mentoring in student ministry is essential in discipleship, especially if you want a relational ministry.  To be an influential mentor who speaks wisdom and builds respect must have:

• INTENTION: committed to a person (love and loyalty), to the process (through ups and downs) and to the purpose (diligent to the end result). Schedules often collide and life is busy, but DO NOT neglect the person you’re mentoring.
  -practical: Don’t cancel more than two meetings/gatherings in a row.
  
  
• INITIATIVE: Giving direction, taking responsibility for the health of the relationship and initiate spiritual dialogue with vulnerability and humility.
  -Practical: Be yourself.  Share your strengths and struggles with honest dialog.  Dont’ be afraid to  jump in the water.
  
• INTIMACY: experience personal intimacy with God through worship and study, be open and share with mentee.
  -Practical: you can’t give what you don’t receive.  You can’t receive if you don’t ask.  Spending time with the Lord will soften your heart.
  
• INFLUENCE: Facilitate growth and give to the relationship
  -Practical: Reward growth by responsiblity
  
• IDENTITY: Secure in yourself and have a healthy, biblical self-image that prevents a defensive attitude.
  -Practical: Be confident in the person God designed you to be
  
• INNER CHARACTER: Exhibit fruit of the spirit, believer, maintain self-control.
  -Practical: Be who you are on the outside, inside.

The seven gifts a mentor gives

For more information on Tim Elmore, Click here.

The seven gifts a mentor gives:

1. ACCOUNTABILITY – Holding a person to their commitments to God.

2. AFFIRMATION – Speaking words of encouragement, love and support; affirming their strengths, thoughts, ministry and their obedience.

3. ASSESSMENT – Objectively evaluating their present state and given them an assessment on what you see; it enables them to gain perspective from an outside point of view.

4.  ADVICE – Speaking words of wise counsel and giving them options for their decision.  It means providing direction and navigation for their life.

5. ADMONISHMENT – Giving words of caution and warning to enable them to avoid pitfalls they may not foresee. It may mean providing correction.

6. ASSETS – Giving them tangible resources, gifts and tools – whether it’s a book, Cd, DVD, ministry resource, or a personal contact.

7. APPLICATION – Pointing them in the right direction to find places where they can apply the truth they learn.

How to gain influence with people

The importance of mentoring in student ministry has been consuming my mind.   In addition, mentoring goes hand in hand with relational youth ministry.  It’s my prayer that as we build relationships with students that “unofficial” mentoring begins to develop.  Tim Elmore has many great insights on this subject and for the next five blogs will be wrapped around this subject. 

How to gain Influence  with People?  It’s a question I often ask myself.  How do you gain influence and cause change?

I – Investment in people – Mentors invest in and make deposits in the hearts of people.

N - Natural with people -Mentors are genuine and don’t try to hide their humanity.

F - Faith in people – Mentors are optimists and believe in their mentees.

U – Understanding of people – Mentors have a keen discernment about what makes people tick.

E – Encourager of people – Mentors naturally find the good in others and affirm it.

N - Navigate for people- Mentors offer wise words of direction and uncover the best options.

C - Concern for people – Mentors give love and compasion to others.

E – Enthusiasm over people – Mentors exhibit a zeal and passion for those they invest in.